Name: One-legged trousers.
Age: Six years old, but only recently popular.
Appearance: Deficient by approximately half.
By one-legged trousers, do you actually mean trousers with only one leg? Exactly that, yes.
Where would you ever wear such a thing? Mostly on the catwalk. One-legged trousers have featured in recent fashion shows by Bottega Veneta, Coperni and Louis Vuitton, among others.
They must be impossible to walk in. You don’t put both legs into the same hole.
So what happens to the leftover leg? It sits outside the trouserial framework, exposed.
One-legged trousers at the Louis Vuitton spring/summer show this month. Photograph: Vianney Le Caer/Invision/APSorry, whose idea was this? Possibly the first one-legged trousers were conceived by the designer Sarah Aphrodite in 2018, according to Harper’s Bazaar.
And people thought it was a good idea? They didn’t take much notice, to be honest. But then, in 2019, the Korean fashion label Pushbutton launched its one-legged jeans.
One-legged jeans? Apparently they were a natural evolution of the Ukrainian label Ksenia Schnaider’s half-slim, half-flared jeans.
There’s nothing natural about it. What’s the point of half a trouser? Some say it’s all about asymmetry.
It’s about as asymmetrical as trousers get, I’d imagine. Others say it is part of a larger trend for chaos on the catwalk.
Or an urge to walk around looking like you’ve just been attacked by a police dog. The look certainly presents challenges. NSS magazine says: “This type of pant doesn’t seem destined for huge commercial success – primarily due to the style’s complete impracticality.”
Why bother making something no normal person is ever going to buy? Have you ever been to a fashion show? Designers are always looking for ways to upend convention.
By all doing the same thing at the same time? Admittedly, this particular trend has a slight bandwagon feel to it.
More looks from Louis Vuitton. Photograph: Mohammed Badra/EPAWhat next? A one-armed jacket? Technically, that look came and went with the advent of one-arming – wearing your two-armed jacket on only one arm – which was very 2016.
How about going out with just one shoe on? That could be difficult, but mismatched boots did feature at the Rick Owens spring/summer show.
Fingerless gloves? They’re already a thing.
Topless hats? What else is a visor?
Bottomless handbags? Hmm. Got any drawings?
Do say: “We all put our trousers on one leg at a time – it’s just that some of us stop halfway in order to challenge traditional silhouettes.”
Don’t say: “Have you seen the emperor’s new legless trousers? They look amazing.”